Somewhere a long time ago, I surrounded myself from the hurt and the pain of life.
Protecting myself, becoming immune to much of the sorrow that I had felt.
Locking out feelings, emotions and trying to make them a faint memory.
Taking my life into a cocoon and weaving my work and family around me.
Existing in my protected area, focusing on others and their needs with little thought of my own.
This sufficed as my world, my meaning for facing each new day and the challenges it brought.
My world has changed and I find myself outside of my cocoon free to fly as a butterfly.
Enjoying the new freedoms of my life but not sure of where I should fly to next.
Knowing only that to survive I must spread my wings, and take on new challenges.
Learning to be for me, do that which I enjoy and facing the world on my own and alone.
It is a time I looked forward to, and yet now that it is here I am once again at the crossroads.
Unknown territory, strange emotions, a rediscovery of myself as I unfold my wings.
What exactly is a butterfly suppose to do, its' purpose in life so it is fulfilled?
This flitting from rose to thorn experience, when do I find my place again in the world?
Sometimes wanting to try to reenter my cocoon but finding it no longer fits my needs.
Missing the shelter it provided and the purpose it gave my life ... but now all that is changed.
Hoping to spread my wings with a renewed confidence not yet found in myself.
Wanting to find new meaning to my life and bring experiences into it never felt before.
Knowing I have so much to offer and just trying to find a way to apply myself.
A new existence, a new life, another bend in the road and I can not see the other side.
Trying to understand my new role and how to be the best butterfly I can be.
Cheryl C. Helynck