Dear Princess: 

Some people might think that our personality is something we just have that identifies us as being one type of person or another and in some sense there is an element of truth to this concept.  I look at a personality as something we have some control over.  There are areas of everyone's personality that is best enhanced and shown off while there are other traits best left hidden for the most part. 

Humor is something I like to see in someone's personality, a sense of acceptance that not every thing always falls into an exact pattern and that life sometimes makes a fool of all of us.  Someone that has the ability to accept the unexpected gracefully and who is able to find humor when the first response might be anger or frustration lightens the mood and takes the edge off a negative situation.  Humor needs to be controlled and used appropriately so that it is not used to torment or humiliate others.

The ability to reason or common sense is very important as a personality trait.  It shows that the person has the ability to "think outside the box" or find a solution that is acceptable but not necessarily the first choice or the common choice.  It shows that the person uses their intelligence and is thinking about things in a holistic manner. 

Pride is a quality that I like to see in a person, and this is different from arrogance or self-importance.  The pride I think is important is shown in how you see yourself and your accomplishments.  There is never a harsher critique than you.  You need to accept that you have faults and that there are times you need to forgive yourself but you always need to have a sense of pride in who you are and what you feel about yourself.  If you have this inner acceptance then it is not hard for the rest of the world to appreciate who you are. 

There will never be enough kind and gentle people in this world.  We all look for this quality in the people that we associate with and want to be close to in our lives.  In every culture and every religion there has been places of honor for those who exhibited kindness.  Little acts of kindness add up to a lot when combined over time.  Take time to help someone who needs a hand, give of yourself and you will be repaid ten times over in the rewards of inner satisfaction.  I believe each act of kindness makes you respect yourself and life as a whole.  We are not here to revolve in our own little worlds but to interact with all our fellowmen and as a complex and often confusing mix attempt to make our collective existence better. 

Patience and understanding are two other qualities that I believe are highly considered in an individual.  Patience does not mean that you wait forever but it does mean that you let things happen in their own accord and occasionally you might have to prod things along. 

Understanding is a quality with a broad definition that takes in knowledge or an acceptance to be aware of emotions, and circumstances, and personalities that may be entirely different from your own. 

Princess, I believe that if we work on these qualities that we will be better people and also we will be accepted by our fellowmen as valuable members of our society.  There will be times when you might not show your best personality traits to others but know that you are the mistress of these qualities and you can choose to enhance the best ones that you want as your personality. 

Love always, 

Grandma

                         Cheryl C. Helynck