A Mother's Memories





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The first time I felt you move was a moment of recognition.  Proof that you were alive and not just a figment of my imagination.  I shared that important instant with you although you do not remember it.

I heard your first cry to the world as your lungs filled with air and sighed with relief that you were breathing on your own.  You had left my body to begin your journey in life and I recall this minute although you can not.

For what was just a brief segment of your life I carried you in my arms.  Looking down into your small peaceful face sharing the contentment you felt against my body.  I can see it still so clearly in my mind but I know you do not remember this interval.

Sitting and rocking with you, softly singing to you.  The chair moving back and forth and for this second in time we shared a moment that all the ages can not take away from my mind.  There was nothing in my universe that instant but the warmth of your small body next to mine that I alone am able to relive in memories.

I saw your smile the first time it came to your face and it made me laugh in return.  I held my breath with outstretched arms as you stood alone for the first time.  I saw you take a step in my direction, standing on your own and celebrated your success.  All these firsts and many more I will remember for you since you can not.

These are my solitary memories although you are the center of them.  A time we spent together, tender loving fragments of your early years.  We laughed and played and my love deepened for you each day as you grew.  I watched you discover and learn, grow out of clothes sometimes before the tags could be removed, and ask so many questions I felt like a walking encyclopedia.  These are such pleasant remembrances I wish you could recall them.

As I sit and rock in my chair, closing my eyes I can take a memory that we shared then, give it life again.  It was a time of pure love and satisfaction.  If you see me rocking and a look of peace is on my face remember these words, it is the only way I have of giving back to you a part of our lives that I alone carry with me in my heart.  They were the laughter, the wonder, the magic of the way we were.

"Memories light the corners of our minds, misty watered colored memories of the way we were."  A special time we had, remember the way these memories came back to me.  Drifting in from the past to warm my soul with the remembrances of the child once so small.  Remember that recalling them gave me such happiness as it did then.


                               Cheryl C. Helynck


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